Obedience and Discipline

Discipline gets a bad reputation in some cultures but when the Bible talks about discipline, it is speaking of discipling. Parents are to be the disciple-ers of their children. All disciples are meant to be discipling those nearest to them. That’s the nature of being a committed disciple of Jesus, committed to the LORD’s Way for all of us no matter our age.

Discipline is meant to be an active, ongoing, progressive learning experience along the lines of earlier times when children learned life working alongside parents in the family context. It was not primarily a reaction to wrong behavior but a patterning, role-modeling of the way life should be led with the values given to all family members by the LORD. It was never a ‘do-as-I-say, not-as-I-do’ model.

There was a time a couple centuries ago when book-learning and formal schools of education were only for the most elite. In the Jewish model for three thousand years, boys learned the Scriptures by word-of-mouth repetition and memorized at least the first five books of the Scriptures verbatim before their coming-of-age celebration. Crafts and trades were learned alongside the father while girls were taught the skills they needed from working alongside their mothers.

The Law given to Moses by the LORD was harsh to adults who did not take care of the training of their offspring and offspring who rebelled against the parents were outcasts under the Law. All were to live respectful of others and obedience and honor were givens in creating a stable and productive social order.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. ¹

The mutuality we have seen in other texts is inherent in the family setting but notice in these verses that ‘in the LORD’ and ‘of the LORD’ is foundational in the discipling in the family. Discipline is the passing on of the relationship the parents have with the LORD and is modeled out by them before the children through all of life. It is a mirroring of their appropriate relationship with God and passing on the values they live by to the next generation of disciples. The valuing of the LORD is more likely demonstrated in daily life than taught by someone rebelling against God. It is easier to catch Love than to provoke it.